So... evidently I don't even know how old my grandchildren are... now when i wrote the last blog... anna was 16... but now??? not so much... 17, however... caleb is 10 not eleven .. lydia is 6 not 5... and well that is all i have for you on that... Amy called and said... MUUUUUUTHER.... the kids ages are all wrong... that is what you get for your money that is what i say... lol...My mom moved in with us last february and we have had many many conversations over the last year... my mother is very wise in many ways... she is a thinker , unlike me... who spouts my mouth off in general without a thought to what i am saying... (this is why i don't talk to alot of people...) blabby syndrome i call it... anyway we were talking about "role playing" and how much of our lives we pretend to be something we are not...our kids never misbehave they always sleep in their own beds...never sass...never have accidents... we never disagree with our husbands (strongly)...we are never mad at God...we are fine,...just fine..well i have news for you...EVERYONE IS NOOOOOTTTTTTT FINE...
Romans 12:9 says "let love be without hypocrisy"... i doubt there are many left who have not heard the illustration of that being the vase... cracked and broken...filled in with wax so that one cannot see the crack but when held up to the sun... ???? AHHHHHHHH filled with wax...it is broken.., it is interesting as i looked up this verse so i would have something biblical to say... (not really)what verse three says... DO NOT THINK MORE HIGHLY OF YOURSELF THAN YOU OUGHT...and verse 16 says.... what ??? DO NOT BE WISE IN YOUR OWN EYES... and between those two... (in the context of serving others and using your gifts???) don't be a hypocrite... be what you are...for in pretending that everything is okay and we are fine all the time .. we put forth the image that we are better than the person struggling... (i have personal experience with this) and elevate ourselves to think... i could never do that.. i could never be like that... well guess what... you might
i am no hero... i feel sorry for myself... i cry...alot... i mean alot... and no i do not understand the why of my life or what God has allowed nor will i ever understand until i stand before Him... that being said... no we don't get to say everything we think... we cannot use the excuse.. THIS IS WHO I AM.. YOU CAN LIVE WITH IT...God requires we use our gifts ... that we are faithful to the task He has set before us... and for each of us it is different... so... what??? God knows ... He knows before He brings the trial.. allows the trial.. whether it is your kids or your husband or a flat time or a job loss or the loss of your grandchildren's mother.. what it would do to you and He is not threatened or diminished in who He is by your sorrow or questions or tears... and so when those among us are hurting or questioning ....AND NOT FINE... it is okay... we pray... we hug... we shake our heads... and say... as amy says... I GOT NOTHING FOR YOU...
and let God be God... for He is and we are not...
